Wedding Homily. St. Joseph Chapel @ Holy Cross Oct 7, 2023

My beloved John and Nasly:

Let’s take stock of what you’re surrounded by on your wedding day. You are surrounded by the saints— our companions, cheerleaders, and most reliable allies on the journey. You just listened to scripture, –God’s letter to his children, God’s mouthpiece. You are before the Altar of history, the altar of sacrifice, the place of encounter between heaven and earth, between divinity and humanity. Candles are lit– symbols of the presence of the holy spirit, truth beyond all telling. Glorious songs and beautiful voices — echoing the glory of God. Bread and wine will be brought in for transfiguration—source and summit of all lives. You are in the presence of your beautiful families, best friends and loved ones here to celebrate you— they have advised you, mentored you, taught you, mother and father you, taught and supported you throughout many stages of your lifetime. 

What the message are you conveying to yourselves, to them, and those who will hear about this day in 5, 10, 20, 50, 70, 100 years from now?

You’re whispering to yourselves and to all that marriage as a sacrament only makes lasting sense if it is joined by the Church, strengthened by the eucharistic offering, sealed by a heavenly blessing, supported by angels and saints, and ratified by the Father, Son, and HS. 

There’s more… through the bond of marriage, you’re saying that you want to be one in hope, one in desire, one in discipline, one in service, one in the efforts of becoming saints, and undivided in spirit and flesh. 

And you have come to realize that you both will fall short despite your best intentions without the abundant wine of grace flowing constantly in this union. Grace, grace.

How important is grace? Let me put it this way: Grace is to our endeavors and plans, what wind is to a sailor, what water is to fish, what air is to our lungs, what brush is to a painter, and what Jesus is to a Christian. No grace no happy marriage! That’s how necessary grace here. That’s what you’re saying to all.

Grace entitles to God’s help as the couple in the gospel was at the wedding of Cana. Grace grants you the ever-present advocate and ally in Mary in your journey.

Now, you are here because you are in love, obviously. As the Russian poet Fyodor Dostoyevsky said, “Love is a wonderful and mysterious thing”. 

Wonderful because it empowers you to do what you didn’t know you could. It balms your soul and heals your heart from its spiritual slumber and malady. It rearranges your priority. It makes you feel weird and awesome and warm. It wakes you up in the morning and makes you go to bed late. It seizes your imagination. It decides what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, whom you know, and what breaks your heart. It is wonderful!

Mysterious because from all eternity, way way before you were ever formed in your parents’ bosom, way way before your great great grandparents had met in that wonderful day, ages before your parents have ever met, God has ordained for you to be together, to become one flesh. That’s something I can’t explain, none of us knows why it happens, why now and not earlier or later. What a mystery!

Know this however, love is never conquered. You’re never done falling in love. It’s always in beta form, always in the process of becoming. It doesn’t happen to you once and for all. It always needs to be harnessed, cultivated, gardened, trimmed, encouraged, rediscovered daily, in every season of life to get the best out of it. It needs to be connected to its source—God. 

Therefore, let today be the beginning of your love. If you want to have a flourishing, fruitful, harvesting, profound marriage, don’t make each other the first priority. Put God first. With him as the center of your marriage, your love will never run dry or out. 

Concretely, that means the sacraments. Praying together. The word of God. The rosary—as the saying goes, “a family that prays together….”

Lastly, I ask someone married for 65 years—what’s the secret of a long, lasting happy marriage, he said—just shut up. She said—“bourbon”. Well, I hope you like drinking. …That’s a joke!